Lyrics

EYES
Stab me- it would hurt less…
I’m used to the physical pain.
The hurt’s familiar It’s familiar I don’t know any other way…

But your eyes
They tell me all that I thought was there is scarce.
And your eyes they showed me
How you harbor hate in your scared stare.

Strike me with your silence…
Let the blood drip down and split in two.
As for your secrets-
I’d trade in memories
To know the man I thought was you…

Love every love
Give every kiss
A kiss
From me to you
For all that I miss…

HEAVEN’S RAIN
Searching for the lonely people in my head
The silent voices that I fear are dead
They’ve risen up to heaven now.
Chemically, serotonin is my friend
His sadness leads me to my bed and then
I wonder if I’m not around…

I think to myself,
“Maybe it would be good to be someone else”
But I reach me.
Maybe it’s better if I’m lonely
And if the feelings know they own me,
Will I tremble amidst the wet of pain?
It melts the heaven’s rain…

Heaven’s rain-
Slipping, sliding through puddled tunnels scream
“Awaken my dream”…
I’m having a terrible dream.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT
I wonder how many more nights I’ll wait up for you.
And I wonder is there anything else that I should do?

If there was ever a moment
When you felt that I was…
Everything you want
Now is the time to save this love
From what it will become…

I wonder how many of your girls you slept through.
And I wonder
Do they do the things you thought I wouldn’t do?

Am I everything you want?
Am I everything?
You…
Hear me…and let me know.
Don’t think I can make
Another night alone.

THE CELLS
Natural selection occurs
Sexual transmission results.
So whatever am I to do now
But go on living life somehow?
Mass population ensures
Survival of the fittest.
So the odds are even,
Even if my gene tangos your gene…

We are nothing but the cells we are
We hold this hurt inside our hearts.

Impregnate me with the thought
I love your body and conceive
Of a way I can keep
All of you here with all of me.
Sucked her mammalian egg
And your sex organs sexed
Filling all your pockets with pleasure
From the material plane…

Not just telling you words.
This is dinner with your soul…
You can’t seem to understand.
Not sure where emotion goes.
We are nothing but the cells… we are…

DON’T GO DON’T STAY
Tearing me away
Tearing me apart from everything I know.
I rented words today. I’ll have them in by Friday so
Trample over me
Trample over me with your emergency. Carry me around
Your chronic idiosyncrasy.

Go don’t stay just say you’ll wait
‘Til the fear in me decides if we should be
Don’t go Don’t stay Just say you’ll wait
‘Til the fear in me decides if we should be

Stay with me awhile
Just until I fall asleep.
I lay so I can dream
Of secrets I’ve been trying to keep.
Hands are everywhere
Crawling all around inside.
Your soul is mine to freeze
But I could set it all on fire.

Don’t say you’re going- I’ll never see you again.
Don’t say your leaving-Never see you again.
All over you alone please me
Oh, all over you alone please me.

INTERLUDE
I don’t even know what to say
Just feel kind of stupid
No real reason for me feeling this way
Just feel kind of stupid
Close my eyes
In the shadow there’s a gun
Cold against my lipstick
Where’s this memory coming from?
Has it already happened?
Am I supposed to change it
This time around?

HEARTS BECOME BEASTS
Saw you today. Wanted so bad to say
I’d forgotten to be mad.
You gave no sign I visited your life
And we exchanged no words.
Pulling incessant caresses;
Her voice is silent but present.
Rearrange my heart and pack all of my things you say…

Hearts become beasts that can’t be fed
Trifecta-tragedy of love morpheth
Made so many plans, now they’re unplanned
Scouring my heart with horns of death.

She’s like the very dream I had for you
When I realized what’s true. Jealously guarding desperation of
Such Lilliputian scale. All the smoke left in my side from your bullet
Has sucked me in.
Clutching my soul to love support.
The I.V. slipped and D.O.A . . .

Maybe, maybe this is nothing. So I won’t think it’s something.
Maybe she’s your secretary. Or a small clerk in New Jersey.
Maybe what I think doesn’t really matter
To you, or you, or you, or you…
And you in the rear- well, I don’t know you…
I thought I knew you.

OTHER DAYS
There are some days
That I say are better than other days,
When even life tends to forget you.
Reject those ways
Leave the hate; our time’s too precious.
Grab the time. Hold it
Choke it till it pills and swallow.

Sometimes I feel it sliding inside.
Pretty snakes around me slither
Round remind me I’m alive…

Other days I wave. Other days I’m not so sane
Other days I write. Other days I hesitate
Other days I say “Help me to reverse the pain.”
And on your nape the ribbon’s frayed
Your chakra shocks me shocking…

There are some days that I say are better than other days,
When even family rejects you. If there’s no love, leave the hate
Our time’s too precious. Grab the time
Hold it. Choke it till it pills and swallow.

The days seem so unnatural. When I’m with you.
The days seem so unnatural without you…
And it goes so fast. It goes so fast, but time will take its time.

INKY
Inky was a traitor
Inky was the voice that I thought that I heard
And my thoughts were so fragile and empty….
All because of Inky. Inky had such long arms
And with them he pulled every string in my soul
‘Til my soul got strangled and tangled.
Inky liked to tango.

An imprinter. You’re like a glove
You keep me from feeling all that I want to feel…

Inky used to stain me
I believed that I was worth nothing and that’s what I had.
I was living for nothing. Life was slowly dying.
Inky drowned me empty
And he suffocated each shred of a light that I shine.
I was miming a life then; I was not my own friend.

An imprinter. You’re like a glove
You keep me from feeling all that I want to feel…

You’re in me.. You’re inside my head…
Out of my head! You’re inside my head suffocating me.
When do you think? When will you let me?
Give me permission. Allow me to be me.

CRAYOLA
Carnivorous, not chivalrous
You only want my body.
Perpetuous, incestuous
You forget that you’re my daddy.

The things you do will come back to you
Time will serve its sentence.Forget the pain.
Conceal the wound; Got to focus on the present.

When will I be free from you? Who will want me now?
Where’d you learn to be so cruel? Won’t you show me how?

Swallow back my tears. Bruised tattered and torn I find myself
Bringing on the pain and saying all the lies you tell yourself.

Why can’t you see you’re hurting me? This only seems unnatural.
I lose myself within your arms and forget that you’re the bastard.

My faith slipping. I wonder…
Is there a love? Is there true love?

I used to cry for you. But now I pray for you.
My faith in God is sinking-
You cumming on my crayons
I lose my mind just thinking…